Sunday, January 3, 2010

Maps Maps Everywhere!!

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I've had a love-affair with maps for pretty much all my life. I've been able to read road maps since before I could read. (To give you an idea, my Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Mays, gave me a book because I was the best reader in her class at age 5. I still have it somewhere.) I've spent many an hour poring over them. So you could say I like maps.

As most of you know, the more of the world that a map shows, the more distorted it becomes. The only way to show an accurate representation of a sphere is to use a sphere! Not much help when you're on a computer screen.

Several years back, when I was a regular player of the RPG Traveller, I had need to draw maps of entire planets, yet I didn't like all the available projections. None of them did a good job of showing the world I was creating. Then I discovered a wonderful little tool called an icosahedral map. It was awesome! It allowed me to make whole maps with a minimum of distortion, and as a bonus, I could print it out, cut up the page, and fold it into a sphere-like object (an icosahedron) and see what the whole planet looked like! Miraculous!

A few years back, while I was still playing GURPS, I discovered someone had created an icosahedral projection of the Earth! I quickly made use of it, turning it into a hexmap that could be used in a boardgame.

Unfortunately, the results were a bit mixed. I redid it and got much better results, but still, I wasn't all that happy with it. Then, last month, during one of my few breaks, I decided to see if it was possible to make my own ico-earth projection from scratch so the landforms wouldn't be all broken up, and low and behold, I found that someone had already done it! Created by no less than Buckminster Fuller! He calls it the Dymaxion projection, and it's pretty cool.


So here is a site that has scads of earth projections in almost every conceivable projection you can think of. And here's another site that has some blank maps for you to use. I made my own from scratch, and these maps should give you an idea how to do that. Have a good time! I know I did.

For those of you wanting my icoearth maps, I can't post them at this time because they're too big - blogger automatically reduces the size to 1600 pixels maximum dimension, so the above maps will not look right, nor will the maps I made for playing games. Sure, I could break them up, but I don't have time for that kind of work. If you write me, I'll see if I can email them to you. At some point in the future, I want to make an equivalent using the Dymaxion projection, and then use that for the game I'm making from it.

Below, I've found a few interesting maps for sale over at Amazon, plus a cheap one. Buy anything through one of those links to help me keep this site up and always improving; and you don't even have to buy what I linked for you!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Free Wifi Hotspots Accessible to Truckers (Updated)

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Do you drive a truck? Would you like to be able to access the internet for free? Are you sick and tired of the obscenely overpriced options that the big-chain truckstops offer? Then I've got good news for you!

In my travels about the country over the past 4 years, I've gathered together every location I could find that offered free WIFI access to truck drivers. This list has every truckstop and rest area with free wifi that I have encountered, plus a few I got from doing searches on the internet. There are probably still several I haven't found - in 2009 alone I discovered about 20 new ones, and I'm sure more and more of the small-timer truckstops are seeing the value in offering for free something that doesn't really cost them anything to provide. Contrast that with the exorbitant rates the major chains charge - several dollars an hour! - and it's easy to see why the small-timers are still in business.

Best of all, I'm posting this list for free! That's right, I did a ton of work, and I'm giving it away because I'm just that awesome!

I posted earlier renditions of this list before, but now that 2009 is over with, I think it's time I posted my latest rendition of the list of free wifi hotspots on my shiny new website. Consider this my Christmas and New Year's gifts to all you hard working truck drivers. Enjoy! And if you have any comments or information to share about this list, please feel free to let me know so I can keep this list up to date.

In the meantime, you can repay my kindness by passing the word out about my site, ok? Thanks!

Click here to see the list.

A couple caveats: I don't list motels and restaurants that aren't part of the truckstop, first because it's rude to use their wifi, second because in some places it might be illegal for you to do so, and third because sometimes they lock up their airwaves to keep unauthorized users off which would invalidate the list. Also, I don't list any malls or restaurants because you never know when someone's going to get offended about parting a truck in a mall parking lot.

There are a few restaurants scattered about that have their own truck parking lots and also offer free wifi. I didn't list these because most of these places don't want you parking overnight, or even for long periods, and as with malls, you never know when someone's going to get pissy about you parking there, so I'd rather not be the cause of unnecessary grief unless I'm going to profit big time from it. :-)

Most of you are probably well aware of what places like that you can park at or near anyway.

Last caveat: there are a few towns that have city-wide wifi. These were initially going to be free, but almost-free isn't quite free, and so they decided they needed to recoup the deployment costs. I've been to two of these towns, and both of them offered a 5-minute free usage, which was enough time to swap emails and proteins, and check the weather. No point in mentioning them if that's all you can do.

Below I've linked up a few netbooks available at Amazon, one of which is embarrassingly cheap. They should all have the appropriate WIFI devices built in. I personally use a large laptop, but there are so many of them out there that recommending one would be a full-time job. Netbooks are currently pretty simple, stripped-down laptops, and they're really small. I'm probably going to get one soon, as soon as I figure out what exactly I want. That cheap one looks like I might want it.

UPDATE 7/6/12:

I stopped driving a truck for the past couple years, and then over the past few months have been on the road again and found out the free wifi landscape has changed significantly. The biggest change is that McDonald's wifi has become free nationwide, even in California. True, it's almost impossible to connect outside the wals of the restaurant, but the fact that there are so many of them and so many near or in truckstops, or that have truck parking, that it's very easy to get internet access almost any time you want to.

In addition to that, Lowe's also offers free wifi, AND you can park in most of their lots like you can in most Walmart lots (although, good luck with that in California). Most of the time, you can get signal from your truck too.

Because of this, even though I've found a couple more rest areas and truckstops with free wifi, I have decided that I'm not going to update the list any more. I may change my mind in the future, but for now it doesn't look like there's much point to the list or to updating it.
















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Other articles you may find interesting or helpful:
10-4 Good Buddy!
Expose Yourself #1 – Smilin’ Bill
Maps are freakin' awesome

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Monday, December 21, 2009

Holiday Greetings

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The sponsors and I would like to wish you a happy holiday season as we thank you for tuning in. Don't miss next year's installment of your favorite entertainment, and please don't drink and drive.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my family for being so familial, my friends for being so friendly, my girlfriends for being so girly, and my fans for being so fanatical. Thanks to you, no one can stop me now! (Except maybe a traffic cop.)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Solar System - Earth

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Things you don't know about the Solar System

I've always found space fascinating, and among my first books was a book about astronomy. It was just a small, general guide that had a number of interesting facts about the solar system and the stars and galaxies. This was 1980 or before, and we've made a LOT of discoveries since then, and I've kept up on it, partly thanks to Ars Technica, the Science Channel, and NASA.

Today's topic: the third rock from the Sun, known to the locals as Earth.

There's a lot about the Earth you don't know. I could fill the entire internet with that kind of thing, and in fact, lots of people are doing just that. So instead of me giving you a list of interesting physical facts about the place you live, I thought I'd share with you an essay I wrote many years ago for school, to help human minds grasp just how enormous the universe is. Enjoy!

We are Tiny

We are tiny. The world we live in is huge. We don’t really grasp how small we are, because we can see maps of the whole world, and we can travel to the other side of it in the space of a few hours or days. We can drive a mile in a minute or less, we can fly a mile in a few seconds, we have spacecraft that can travel a few miles in 1 second, but what if you had to walk? It takes about a third of an hour to walk a mile. Not a whole lot of time in the scale of our lives, but we get tired of it after only a few miles. It would take about two years to walk all the way around the Earth.
There are a lot of things on the Earth that you have never seen before, and may have read about in books, but what about if you hadn’t had those books? You would think these things mostly tall tales, told to amuse children, or the boastings of drunks. It would take too much time and money to go traveling. Something like Disneyland would be a life’s aspiration rather than one choice among many.
The Solar system today is much like the Earth of just 100 years ago. Sure, spacecraft can fly several miles in a second, but with the number of miles to travel, we may as well be walking. It takes days just to reach our nearest celestial neighbor: the moon. It takes months or years to reach the world we are most likely to colonize next: Mars. It would take centuries or millennia to reach the closest visible star: Alpha Centauri. This is a journey the likes of which no one has ever experienced, and no one can really imagine it.
Our knowledge is growing. As we before could not imagine traveling to the ends of the Earth in a mere day, one day we may be able to go much faster than we do now. But even if we are able to instantaneously reach the speed of light itself, the nearest star is still over 4 years away, a journey even Magellan and Drake did not know, and there will be no stops along the way to reprovision or let the crew out to relax and blow off steam.
The galaxy is huge. At the speed of light, it would take about 100,000 years to cross it. This is a journey so huge the mind cannot hope to comprehend it. Along the way, you would see strange things that you didn’t think were possible, and people you tell your stories to would not believe you.
Let us suppose it is possible to build a warp drive, capable of traveling 1000 times the speed of light. A journey to Alpha Centauri would take only a day and a half; still a long time by today’s standards, and no reason to commute to work; it would be equivalent to a long train ride, from one side of a continent to the other. The galaxy-spanning trip still requires 100 years to accomplish.
So let us build a warp drive that travels a million times the speed of light. It now takes about 5 weeks to cross the galaxy; an hour’s travel will carry you over 26 lightyears away; there are an awful lot of visible stars within that range, and quite a few more that we don’t yet know about.
But even at this incredible speed, to reach our galactic neighbor Andromeda would still take 225 years! If we bump up to a billion times the speed of light, the trip takes less than 3 months, meaning intergalactic colonization becomes possible, and we can commute to any place in our own galaxy. It would take only 10-20 years to reach the edge of the universe itself*, a trip so important that you know some one will attempt it.
But until that time, when we can travel almost instantly to almost anywhere, we must remember that the world is a big place. The local group of the closest stars is a big place. The galaxy is a big place, and it will take a long time for it to become small. Until it does, think of space travel as what travel was like before mass production of the automobile: not very fast.

* Recently (2009), I have learned that the most current estimate for the age of the universe is 13.7 billion years, HOWEVER, the universe has been expanding considerably in all that time such that it is approximately 39 billion lightyears to reach the edge of the VISIBLE universe, and the ACTUAL edge may be another billion or two further out. Still, a journey that lasts less than 100 years (there and back) to discover something so important is almost certain to be attempted.
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Further reading to whet your appetite for knowledge:
Solar System - Mars
Hey baby, what's your sign? (Updated!)
Solar System - Venus
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Sunday, December 13, 2009

I'm working on it!

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I've been pretty busy lately, what with the holiday season causing an increase in work, and I've got all kinds of other stuff going on. I've got one buddy building a new business website for me, and a couple others doing some proofreading on one of my books, I've discovered the secret to eternal life so I'm trying to get that, I've got most of the old content from the previous renditions of my site transferred, and I'm doing my part to help about half a dozen people reach for their dreams like I've done. This is just the beginning, of course. So don't worry, I'm not going to forget to stop by here once in a while. I've actually got a lot of exciting stuff going on in my life now, and keeping this site/blog updated is a part of that.

Just for starters, I've got a series of articles on space, travel, and fiction brewing, a tiny portion of which I've already got posted. I expect to get the rest of my old content up by the end of the year, and in January I should have a little time off... if my students don't need me!

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year to everyone!

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

How to Talk Like a Trucker

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After national talk-like-a-pirate-day became ridiculously popular, it was only natural that national talk-like-a-ninja-day would be commissioned.... except, no one knows how ninjas talk! They're just so dad-gum secretive. So instead, we've commissioned national talk-like-a-trucker-day, which is to be celebrated on October 14th, which coincidentally is the day I got my CDL.

To help you talk like a real trucker, I've gathered together some of the slang and jargon I've heard and used over the years. Read on!

10-4: This one means "Okey dokey". Sometimes it's said as "10-4 good buddy", but usually that's only in the movies. Lately, some people have been abbreviating it to just "10".

Breaker one nine: This one means, "I want to say something and I think I'm on channel 19." Channel 19 is the common channel that most everyone uses, and now and then someone will break in because they have something to say and don't want to be interrupted. Some people abuse this to spam, and need to have their radios confiscated, because spamming the CB is illegal. This phrase is so well known that regular people will use it, even when they're on a different channel than 19, as one of my Coast Guard friends reports.

What's your Twenty: Where are you?

Bear, Smoky, or Smoky Bear: This is a cop. There are actually several different kinds of cops, and each has it's own special term.
   Diesel Weasel: This is a DOT cop, who is out there to mess with truckers and little else. Also referred to as diesel bears.
   Chicken coop: Not a cop, but rather a weigh station, where you tend to have a lot of diesel bears hanging out.
   Full-grown bear: This is a state trooper. Sometimes you hear the term super-trooper used to describe them.
   County Mounty: A county sheriff
   Evel Knievel: Motorcycle cop
   Plain brown wrapper: Unmarked police car. Sometimes they're referred to by their actual color, usually white.
   Kojak with a Kodak: A cop with a radar gun or laser gun, which may or may not be connected to a camera, and he's aimed it at traffic.
   Bear in the air: A police helicopter.

Pickle park: Rest area

Skateboard: flatbed truck

Big truck: a semi-truck. You hear this one a suprising amount of the time, even though 99% of the time when someone's talking about a truck, that's what they're talking about.

The roads themselves have a few terms:
   Get-off: Exit ramp
   Get-on: Entrance ramp
   Hammer lane: Left Lane
   Slow lane: Right Lane
   Granny lane: An extra slow lane provided for getting up hills
   Zipper: the dotted line in the middle of the road

Lot lizard: Prostitute

Four wheeler: Car, pickup, van, motor home. Anything that isn't a truck of some sort.

Yardstick: Mile marker

Gator: Tire tread in the middle of the road

Brake check: Everyone ahead is slowing down, probably for no reason

Granny gear: the lowest gear the truck has

Jake Brake: This is that throaty growling sound you hear when some trucks decelerate, known as an engine brake.

Hammer down/

All right, that's all I've got for now. As I discover more, I'll update this post.

In the meantime, I've linked up a few toy trucks (and a Transformer). I was hoping to find some matchbox trucks or something of that nature like I used to have when I was little, but this was all I could find. Perhaps by the time you click on the link, they'll have one you can find.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Hey baby, what's your sign? (Updated!)

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Astrology. Anyone grounded in the real world shudders at the absurdity of it, and yet, women eat that stuff up as if it really means something. I understand why, of course: it's the childish desire to shed all responsibility for oneself, to put the blame of failed relationships on someone else instead of taking responsibility for ALL your actions (conscious and unconscious), and what better scapegoat than something that doesn't care? It's unfortunate that we as a society encourage this kind of destructive and self-destructive behavior, rather than insisting that people act like adults. Some do, but not the majority.

But I'm not here to rant about society, I'm here to tell you that the sign you think you are is probably not true! (Okay, I'm doing this article because I haven't had time to find something really neat about the physical Earth that most people don't know, but I suppose this will do just fine, since the reason your sign isn't the one you think it is is because of Mother Earth not doing what the ancients thought she was doing. (And ain't that just like a woman?))


You've read in the newspaper or on the internet your daily horoscope. Probably every social-networking and dating site will tell you what your sign is when you tell it your birthday. But these sources of information are flat-out lying to you about 90% of the time.

The 12 signs of the Zodiac are all constellations in the sky. Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces. When the Sun is in a particular constellation, and you are born that day, that's your sign. The astrologers would have you believe that these 12 constellations are divided equally in the sky, but in truth, they're not. Some signs have the Sun in them for only 8 days, some for as long as 44 days. And on top of that, there's a 13th sign the Sun travels through: Serpentarius, also known as Ophiuchus. It's nestled between Scorpio and Sagittarius, and lasts 18 days. That's more than twice as long as Scorpio!

It gets worse.

Way back when astrology was first getting started, oh, say around 2600 years ago in 600 BC, we had a different North Star. You have probably heard that the North Pole, over the course of 26,000 years, makes a complete circle as it points to different parts of the sky. So the path the Sun takes through the sky has changed since the Zodiac was made. It goes through the same constellations, but with varying amounts of time. Give a day here, take one away there.

It gets worse.

The Earth's orbit around the Sun is not a perfect circle. There are times it's closer and times it's farther. When it's closer, it travels faster and when it's farther, it travels slower. You learned this when I talked about Mercury's double sunrises a few months ago. Earth does the same thing, but not as dramatically as Mercury, because it rotates faster and is a lot farther out. But, this imperfection in the orbit, and some other complicated math I won't bore you with, means that as the Earth goes around the Sun, the point in space where it is closest to the Sun is also going around. Essentially, if a year was measured from the point that Earth was closest to the Sun instead of when the Sun was in a certain part of the sky, the year would be slightly longer.

Because of this slightly longer "year", known as a precession, it means that over the course of centuries, even decades, on a given day of the year, the Sun might not be in the same constellation it was 10-100 years ago. Now multiply this out by the 2600 years since astrology was codified. What we have is a shift of a little over a month! If this was the only thing wrong, everyone would be off by 1 sign, with about 10% of people off by 2 signs, but because the constellations are different sizes, there are still a few people who have the correct sign.

It gets worse.

The positions of the planets are also of importance to your chart. But the planets wander through more than 13 constellations, they wander through 21 of them! (25 if you count Pluto.) 21 constellations!

It gets worse.

There are a lot of different cultures around the world, and just as not everyone marks their years as 365.25 days apiece - some mark it 365, some alternate between 354 and 384, etc - each has their own constellations and their own astrology. For instance, the Chinese zodiac has 12 different signs, but that's not 12 signs per year, that's 1 year per sign! On top of that, the day you're born in China, you're already considered to be a year old.

Even if we just stuck with the "Western" zodiac, which has been altered many times to take into account newly discovered planets (of which the ancients apparently never noticed their effects or they would have been in the original charts), there's still the problem that no two astrologers will interpret a given chart the same way.

Here's a site that has a lot of the above information. And here's another one.

Okay, so you're already pretty much right-minded or you wouldn't be reading this site, nor would I want you as one of my fans if you weren't, but you've probably got some friend who believes in this stuff, or some girl you want to impress and she believes it. What can you do to set those people straight?

I guarantee you that trying to argue with them won't do it. Not even showing them this article - though I am obviously above reproach in all matters. The harder you try, the stronger they believe. No, you can't do that any more than you can explain to the girl you lust for that you'll be good for her within the first minute of meeting her. Here are the choices I see:

1. Let it go. Be the bigger man (or woman) and let that person have their fun. As long as the person isn't harming anyone, or devoting their life to it, it doesn't matter.

2. Get a better class of friend/girlfriend/boyfriend. Really, if it bothers you enough that you want to beat sense into them, then they're obviously not the kind of friend you need in your life. Or it could be that you're too judgmental. See option 1.

3. Learn a little about it so you can be a fake astrologer too! Hey, chicks dig it! Any that believe in it are likely to believe you're a great guy, too, so you might as well use it to your advantage. For some people, it's a moral obligation to part money from suckers.

4. Spend a great deal of time setting up the frame of reference that you're going to do a scientific experiment, then an even greater deal of time taking that person to a number of astrologers to have their chart done, with the agreement that if the charts are not identical, or if they contradict each other in even the slightest, then all of astrology must therefore be fake.

See, the problem lies in the fact that if someone can believe in something so obviously untrue, they must be brain-damaged. You cannot use logical arguments on someone who doesn't understand logic! You may as well argue that the sun looks wet and tastes like a taco today, but tomorrow it'll be different because then it'll look wet and taste like a taco.

Really, those are your only choices.

Okay, so in the theme of "Here's your sign", I've found a few random things related to signs for you to buy if you want to. Remember that anything you buy through these links helps keep this site running and improving.
















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Further articles that may interest or help you:
Webster's Rejects
You Might not Know how to Drive
Good Thing these People aren't in Charge of our Economy

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Saturday, November 21, 2009

More Stony King performances

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Stony just sent me a link to several of his performances for our listening pleasure. Thanks, cuz!

Click here to check them out!

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Brain Dump!

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Okay, I just loaded some of the content from previous renditions of the site onto here to see how they look and how well the blog functions. At some point I'll try to get pictures posted too, but until then, you'll have to use your imagination. I've got a lot more stuff to add, and since my helper isn't exactly helping, I'm looking for another one. You guys have no idea how hard it is to find people who are at least marginally computer-literate AND who have free time to help you out! Those of you who rely on a friend to fix your computer for you, be thankful for them.

In other news, right now, I'm in the middle of nowhere in Texas. I'll tell you all about it...


Ah, Texas. The best thing I can say about the state is that the rest areas have free wifi. Sure, it logs you out every hour or two, but that's better than the absurdity that is currently what Kentucky puts in its welcome centers, or should I say, unwelcome centers? 15 minutes of free access, and then you MUST buy access. Yeah, that's nice. Just enough to make sure the connection exists and then swap emails. Of course, most places don't have any wifi at all. Come on!

When I was out in California for a few days to try and get one of my stories made into a movie or TV show, I occasionally needed to stop and use the internet, and I can't believe that pretty much EVERY motel out that way charges for what every other motel gives you for free. What, $150+ a night for a hard bed and a tiny room isn't enough?

I'd like to give a shout out to my buddies Steve and Kari and their kids, who were all kind enough to show me around and make me feel welcome (even though they didn't have room for me to sleep at their place). And another shout out to my cousins who DID have room for me to sleep at their place, and showed me around San Fran.

Last item of business before I get some sleep: Happy birthday to my sister! She celebrated the anniversary of her 25th birthday a couple weeks ago (not saying which one), and I wasn't able to post about it until now.

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What you should know about the military before you join

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“Here you are all equally worthless!” - R. Lee Ermey (Full Metal Jacket)

Whether you’re thinking of joining the military or trying to talk someone out of it, the least you can do is get the facts and make an informed decision. I spent 6 years in the Navy, which is 6 years longer than most people serve their country. Some of those days were good, some were bad. Some, I'm going to talk to you about, so listen up; there will be a test.


 

First things first:
Before I begin, I’d like to thank those of my family who are currently serving, who have served, and who fell in service. If a country isn’t worth serving, if it isn’t worth defending, then it isn’t worth keeping it around. Thank you for your contribution.

I have a list of all those who’ve served (that I am aware of) somewhere around here that I want to post, but at this time, I’m going to hold off on doing so.

I would also like to thank ALL people who have served, especially those who served with distinction or who made the ultimate sacrifice. You are a special breed which we are all proud of.
Second things second:
Throughout history, there have been lots of reasons to join the military, few of them noble. It doesn’t matter what your reasons are; your reasons are your own. I’m going to give you a few things to think about. Some of these things could be seen as benefits to some people and deterrent to others. It all depends on what’s important to you.
Travel:
Most people get to travel a lot when they’re in the military. Sometimes you have some control over how much you travel, sometimes you have none, but you’re almost certain to have to do some, so you’re going to be away from your family at some point. At the very least, you’re going to be away from your family while you’re at boot camp.

I myself enjoy traveling and seeing new places and meeting new people. Not constantly, but a lot, so I liked this aspect, and took many opportunities to travel more than the average person does. But I also like my family. I’m not a mama’s boy by any stretch of the imagination, but I keep in touch with a lot of my family, and being away from them all wasn’t always easy. I suppose I had the good fortune to not have a wife and kids of my own at that time, which would’ve made it a lot harder to leave them when we went out to sea and deployed overseas.

Our ship, the Bataan, occasionally went out to sea to do exercises and drills and lend aid to other countries and be part of other cities’ celebrations, and all kinds of stuff. We didn’t do it as much as some ships, but we were away from our home port of Norfolk probably about 1/4—1/3 of the year. Even if my family had been in Norfolk with me, that would have been hard on them. Plus, if I had reenlisted, I might have gotten moved somewhere else and had to uproot my family. Some families see this as cool, others don’t.
Medical bills:
Most people will agree that having someone pay all your medical bills is a wonderful thing. If you’ve ever received a $70,000 bill in the mail because the child you just had had a few complications during birth, then you know just how nice it is to have someone like Uncle Sam to take care of that tab. Uncle Sam pays your medical bills, and takes care of your family too. I had to get some dental work done, and I’m glad they took care of it.

On the other hand, there can be some drawbacks. While I don’t think any doctor would intentionally cause harm, they are protected against being sued if they screw up, and this might make them a little less careful. If you expect to have your bills paid, you also have to expect the guy who’s paying them to say who will take care of you.

There’s one other negative aspect: you can be experimented on without your consent. I’m not talking about being a guinea pig for some fresh face who’s never seen the insides of a real patient before, I’m talking about they can order you to take experimental medicines and such. As far as I know, I never had to undergo something like that, but I did almost have to take the Anthrax vaccine. This was before 9/11 and the Anthrax mail scares that followed. Before our 6 month deployment to the Mediterranean, we were supposed to all have to get the Anthrax vaccine, which I’m told is something that you don’t want unless you’re SURE you’re going to be exposed to Anthrax. Kinda like shooting yourself up with Atropine and 2-PAM Chloride because you MIGHT get hit with VX gas. (Let's just say it's a BAD thing.) There was a lot of talk about it on the boat, and many people promising they’d rather be court-martialed than take it. Fortunately, it didn’t come to that; the requirement was withdrawn, but I came really close to having a dishonorable discharge because I would have refused to take the vaccine.
Paychecks:
There are a LOT of people who cry that servicemembers don’t get paid enough. In some respects I agree, but in others, I don’t. We get fed (maybe not the best, but it’s food and it's as healthy as most of us ever eat), we get a bed and a roof, we get free medical treatment, and some of us even get to learn useful skills and make useful contacts that can be used in the civilian world. Plus free travel! Plus you can retire and start drawing retirement pay after only 20 years of service. All that, and we get paid too?

Okay, it IS most definitely a job. I had a relatively easy job and learned a few skills that I could take with me when I left. Not everyone gets that. There’s not a whole lot of call for soldiers. Some, but not a lot. (Then again, I hear the security industry is booming.) Those of you who don’t get a useful military job, be sure you get the College Fund when you sign up, and then, when you get out, USE IT!!! Getting the majority of your education paid for is how you make that 3-4 years get you skills you can use in the field of your choice, no matter what you did in the military.

For me, with no kids or wife to take care of, and no need to drink it all away, I was able to save up the majority of my money. (If you can afford to booze away your life, you make too much money.) I spent a lot on my Jeep, on driving all over the East for fun, on an apartment and stuff to fill it, on interesting food, and other stuff I felt like, and I still managed to save the majority of my paycheck. (Maybe it’s just because I grew up poor; take this test to find out if you know the value of a dollar.)

I never went into combat. I never had to face that many life-and-death situations. I did go into “combat zones”, but was rarely in any real danger. (Our ship was scouted out by the people who attacked the USS Cole, but they felt we were too alert for them to succeed.) But because I went to those places, I got combat pay. Combat pay isn’t much, and for what I did, I’m not complaining, but there are guys who really do have to face death, and that combat pay doesn’t really help their families sleep any better at night. Sure, they’ll get a free funeral, and a small insurance payment, but that doesn’t really cover the loss of a family member. (On the other hand, if you do your reenlistment while in a combat zone, you get your bonus pay tax-free!)

Why do people with families still go into harm’s way, despite the poor compensation? Because they know that freedom isn’t free. I know that for myself, I was glad to have the chance to be sure my family didn’t have to go through the things I had to go through, or worse, have their cities get blown up. With a wife and kids, I’d’ve been even more enthusiastic about being sure the roaches stayed out of the light, and I probably would have stayed in.

I didn’t exactly get rich, and if you have family to support, you definitely won’t get rich, but when you add everything up, it’s quite often a better deal than you’d get anywhere else.
Skills:
It all depends on what job you get when you join as to whether you’ll get any good skills out of it. At the very least, make a lot of friends and then maintain those friendships when you get out and use those contacts to your benefit. The world runs on favors, you know.

Some military jobs get you good skills. I joined to learn how to fix computers. I didn’t actually get to do that job until my last year, and though I crammed a lot of learning into that last year, I still didn’t learn a whole lot of skills useful on the outside. I’m sorry to say I didn’t make good use of what I did learn, either, but hopefully none of you will make that mistake. (Hint: no matter what, make sure you have a job waiting for you when you get out!)

When you sign up, you automatically get the GI Bill, which is basically good for a discount on your college when you get out. You then have a choice of a bunch of cash, or the College Fund, which basically provides a bigger discount to your future education. Unfortunately, there aren’t many schools that take the GI Bill and which also don’t charge more than what it pays, so there’s going to be some money coming out of your pocket to go to school. If you can get a job to pay for that shortfall, or you’ve saved up enough money, then by all means, do it that way.

While you’re in the military, you will generally have the chance to learn lots of skills. There is generally a lot of training available to take advantage of, and it usually doesn’t cost you anything but your time. Take advantage of these programs! Another mistake I made was not trying hard enough to get into these programs. They’re not going to force you to learn, you have to want to, and you have to put forth a lot of effort to show that you want to. I had other things on my mind. (I’m not like that any more, but don’t nobody tell my girlfriends I ever was!)
Guaranteed paychecks:
Call it what you will, as long as you are willing to work, and not be a total screw-off, the military will be willing to put you to work and pay you for it. Out in the corporate world, sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard you work, you still get shafted. Piss off the wrong person, and you’re fired. Maybe even black-listed. Or maybe they run out of money because the CEO ran off with it all and you don't get paid for your last month of work, plus your retirement fund gets raided.

I pissed off a lot of people in the Navy, and I still got paid. (A LOT of people!) Yes, there are still office politics, and yes, you can be stuck working with people you don’t like, and yes you can be forced to do things you don't want to do, but at least they can’t send you to the unemployment line, and you’re rarely ever stuck with any single person for more than 2 years. Maybe you’ll have to do jobs you don’t like, but you’ll eat and so will your family. Just don’t do anything illegal, and you’ll be fine.
Getting killed:
This is the big one. But think about it: there are a considerable number of jobs in the civilian world that are just as capable of getting you killed or maimed as being in the military, and they're LESS likely to compensate you in any way. One of my cousins worked in an auto plant, got RSD, and they canned him and wouldn’t pay his medical bills. Hard to get a job when you can’t use your hands! I have an aunt who was a nurse for 30-some years, and she threw her back out from having to lift patients every day. They canned her and wouldn’t pay for her medical bills either. Not easy to get a job when you can hardly stand. And let’s not even get into the mining industry, or the truck-driving industry (I have a cousin who came within inches of death because of a sudden traffic jam, and I had a close call with a patch of ice, but don’t tell my mom), or the agricultural industry; those are some dangerous jobs, and people are maimed or killed all the time. Getting shot or blown up is almost a mercy in comparison!

I was lucky in that I served during a time of relative peace. My biggest close call (that I know of) was when terrorists decided not to attack my ship, and instead attacked the USS Cole, but some of you might get sent to the front lines. I’ve already had a few cousins get sent up there. Iraq isn’t the most pleasant place on Earth, and you might have to go... Or you might GET to go. My brother’s National Guard unit has been sent overseas a few times to help out, because they volunteered to go do their part.
In closing:
I haven’t been nearly to the point of exhaustive in this article. I’ll probably expound on this article a little more in the future, tell you some of the things you should consider doing to make sure you get the best deal, and also tell you more about what you can expect to have happen to you. (Frex, when the Navy recruiter comes to your high school and tells you that he’s never even seen a ship, and leads you to believe you’ve got a good chance of doing the same, you’ll know he’s lying.) I’ll probably also reminisce about some of my boot camp experiences, so you know what to expect on that score too. But for now, I’ve given you plenty to think about.

If you’ve got questions or comments about this article, feel free to comment and I’ll see what I can do to help you out.

Until then, it doesn’t matter if you’re someone with the intense desire to serve your country or someone who feels he has no other option than to join, doing anything blindly is usually a recipe for disaster. I hope something I’ve said here has helped you to make an informed decision.

- DS2 Jaycee “TheDS” Adams

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