Brighten up, Girlfriend

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Hey everyone, nice to see you all again, plus some shiny new faces this year! January is shaping up to set another record, thanks to you.

My friend Lacey Chabert was desperately in need of help. She recently posted up an awful looking picture and no one stepped up to bail out her poor photographer, who faces the possibility of getting kicked out of the family for the goof. Luckily this kind of thing can be recovered pretty easily. After I fixed it, I noticed it turned out MUCH better than a lot of the pictures I fix for my family, so I thought I'd share the process with you AND save everyone's fave girl from the hassle of editing her Christmas card list.

I'm no Photoshopping genius, I'm just a guy who can adjust some sliders on readily available photo enhancement software to make pictures look better. I'll be using a program called ACDSee Pro, but this kind of functionality is available in most photo editing software, and some of it is even free or comes with your camera!

One key piece of advice to all you budding photographers that I had to learn the hard way when I screwed up some really important pictures when I first got a digital camera: be sure to use a flash when indoors, because the camera thinks it's a lot darker inside than you do. Your eyes adjust, a camera lens doesn't. Though most photos can be recovered to some degree, many can't, and few turn out this good. Best to just use the flash.

Okay, so check this out, guys:

Final Photo: We got lucky here.
The colors are vibrant! It's just
like being there for realsies!
Read on to see how this happened.

Original Photo: Much too dark,
all details are hidden.
(As always, click to embiggenate)

Overdone Photo: It's too bright
and grainy. This is what you
usually get from this process.
It's better than nothing!

How did we get such a fantastic result? Check these out!

First we go to Process, then Edit, then Lighting, and see this. These sliders
each affect a certain light tone range, kind of like the equalizer on a stereo.

Let's adjust sliders! Wheeeeeeeee!!!

...Preferably the correct ones. But don't sweat it, you can undo.

A little experimenting to see what does what.

Don't be afraid to experiment; all Human progress depends on it. 

It's amazing what you can find out by trying new things!

I'll swear with my dying breath (which might be sooner than you think if
Lacey gets a hold of me), IT'S NOT DANDRUFF!! (I think. I wasn't there.)

So there you have it.

If I really wanted to get fancy, I could blend together some of the pixels on Lacey's coat to get rid of the washouts, maybe added some sharpness or some blur and then pulled a few other processing tricks, but I didn't want to spend that much time on it before her check cleared.

And even though ACDSee isn't paying me to say this (though they should), I highly recommend you get ACDSee. It's primarily a photo manager, and it makes finding, sorting, organizing, and displaying your pictures very easy. It also lets you do some basic editing and processing too, but not quite to the Photoshop level. I've used it for many years, and consequently can't stand the built-in picture display thingy built into Windows. ACDSee has spoiled me. You don't have to get the Pro version, the regular version will let you adjust light levels and do pretty much anything you can think of to a picture, but the Pro version lets you feel special for having paid more for it.

So, all's right with the world. You all now know to use the flash on your cameras and what to do if you forget. Lacey finally gets to see her valuable family picture as it was meant to be seen. Her photographer gets out of hot water. And we here at Mopjockey.com had the pleasure to entertain you, as we do from time to time.

Check out our Facebook page (and hit the LIKE button, huh? it's only fair), or sign up to follow through Google/Blogspot on the left side of the page, or add yourself as a follower on Twitter, which we just got around to adding. And leave a comment somewhere if you want to see more articles like this.

BTW, li'l sis, call me when you have a minute. Got my new number? Same as the old number.

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Fearmongering Scientists

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You know how, later this year, the world is going to end on December 21, 2012? Today between 11:00 and 12:00 I heard Astronomer Phil Plait on WHYY internet radio trying to convince us all that it's just not true.

First, he used flimsy arguments to dismiss the arrival of the planet Nibiru, AKA Planet X, which will collide with Earth on that fateful day. According to Dr. Plait, any planet bound by the Sun's gravity (he doesn't explicitly say this, but it's what he meant) which was going to collide with Earth within the next year would be near the orbit of Mars and because of its size (4 times that of Earth) it would be brighter in the sky than Jupiter, which at the moment is easily visible near the moon as a very bright star. He further asserts that such a massive object would have disrupted the orbits of Earth, Mars, and other planets by now with its gravity, something which he says isn't happening.

However, Plait plainly has no idea what he's talking about!

Hello? Reality calling Dr. Phil? Aren't you forgetting something rather important?


Isn't the Solar system a THREE DIMENSIONAL construct? Aren't there things orbiting outside the Ecliptic plane (the plane in which the Earth orbits the Sun)? Isn't it possible that all the telescopes are looking in the wrong place? Couldn't Nibiru be orbiting at an angle oriented -450 degrees from the Ecliptic, and therefore not be where we expect to find it? And if it were there, wouldn't it have a much smaller effect on the planets' orbits, because it was much farther from them? Nibiru doesn't need to collide with the Earth to destroy it, it merely needs to whip past the Sun very quickly, which means it can be traveling far faster than it would otherwise need to if it were going to collide with Earth. Faster speed means it's further still from the distance needed to affect other planets. And maybe they have their cloaking device engaged, the same one Captain Kirk stole from the Romulans.

Simple explanations, really man. You're not fooling anyone.

The self-admitted Bad Astronomer goes on to protest that the increasing activity levels of the Sun have nothing to do with the end of the world. It has been predicted by some that a giant Solar flare will swallow the Earth, burning it to a crisp. Plait dismisses these by claiming there is some sort of cycle to the Sun's activity and that it will reach its peak in 2013 and 2014.

Hello? Even if the Sun wasn't as steady as the day God made it, do you not realize that the Solar Max is merely an average of a prediction, little different than Hurricane Season here on Earth, and that giant solar flares CAN and DO occur at any time, not just during Solar Max, in the same way that hurricanes can and do form outside Hurricane Season?

Really, man, you're being ridiculous here.

And don't you think that if a giant planet whips around the Sun at high speed, making a very close approach, that it might CAUSE giant solar flares?

Plait then goes on to dismiss hurricanes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters which could easily be proven to be caused by the gravitational effects of a giant, invisible planet closing in on us at warp speed, claiming that the millions of scientists around the world who know of this could NOT be coopted or threatened to keep their mouths shut by the MIB, Illuminati, and other government stooges who are hiding the TRUTH that Kennedy was assassinated by Yetis fighting for Tibetan independence.

Yeah, right, Phil. Tell me another one.

Worst of all, Plait then tries to put the burden of proof on those who make what he calls "outlandish claims". First he calls them whackos, then expects them to act in a logical and mature fashion by WORKING to prove something which can be easily seen as the truth with the application of just a little imagination and no small dollop of heroin.

Phil, Phil, Phil. What am I going to do with you? I'll bet you expect your children to show their work on their math homework to "prove" they understand how to get the answer. I'll bet you expect your children to speak English in your house. I'll even bet that at one time you expected your children to appreciate all you've done for them. How cruel and selfish of you. The world doesn't need adults who are capable of rational thought, nor those capable of taking responsibility for themselves! What the world needs is more heroes like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian and Snooki. It needs people who willingly, EAGERLY believe every con job the television and the internet sell them. Really, Phil, how do you expect the super-rich to continue to oppress us if we suddenly realized how ridiculous it was to believe they have our best interests at heart while they're robbing us blind?

What really took the cake for me, personally, as a pseudo-journalist who often invents sensational news stories in an effort to get people to click on my ads so I can make some money off their panic, is that he would interfere in the right of someone to seek a certain, relatively painless death for themselves or their children instead of waiting to see if the prognostications come to pass and possibly suffering a horrible death from being flung into space when the Earth's rotation comes to a sudden halt. Nibiru will be easily observed and its effects felt months before the end. If someone's brain is so defective that they can't stand to wait for the inescapable truth one way or the other, and choose to endure eternal damnation by killing themselves instead of letting God do it at the time of His choosing, then the gene pool will be that much cleaner when the survivors try to rebuild society.

The end is so obviously nigh, Phil Plait, Bad Astronomer. The "proof" you seek is coming. Will you keep denying it with your "rationality" four days later just because Santa Claus visited your house? I'll bet you will.

You're going to be awfully embarrassed when the world ends and you tried to keep people calm and realistic. There's no place for that sort of thing on this planet or any other. I suppose next he'll be telling us the world is warming up and the polar bears are dying off because there's no longer enough ice at the North Pole to block the Northwest Passage.

I will pray for your soul in the coming apocalypse, Phil.
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Expose Yourself #5 – Cool Cat

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Don’t know what Expose Yourself is all about? Check this out.

Today’s guest has done a considerable amount of work for public TV station WJCT, such as public affairs, producing documentaries, reporting, fundraising, and for eight years he produced the Jacksonville Jazz Festival. The local CBS affiliate also had him working as a cameraman and assistant director!

Writing has always been his passion, and he’s done a lot of it, including three award-winning young adult novels about an extraordinary cat named Windrusher, a multiple-award-winning murder mystery set in northeast Florida, Matanzas Bay, headlined his own humor column in a community paper, and has even been published in Florida Trend Magazine. I met him when I attended one of his speaking engagements, which he does several times a year at libraries, book festivals, and conferences because he’s a regional director of the Florida Writers Association. Please welcome Victor DiGenti!

JC: Vic, good to see you again! You look like you’re having more fun than a barrel full of monkeys.

VD: My wife often accuses me of monkey business, but I do try to weave some fun into the business of writing.

JC: So I've heard. Where are you in your life or career or pursuit of your goals?

VD: There’s a line in my newly released mystery, Matanzas Bay, where protagonist Quint Mitchell waxes philosophically, saying, “… there comes a time when we look back on the things we’ve done and it weighs heavily on us.” The same can be said of the things left undone. In my more callow years, I had fantasies of being a foreign correspondent and a network news anchor. Later, when I became a novelist, I dreamed of making The New York Times Bestseller list. Of being on the Today Show and Oprah. Of having Windrusher made into a movie starring Nicole Kidman. After the movie premiere, she’d invite me to her Malibu Beach house where we … No, wait, that was completely different fantasy.

JC: Sounds like a story for the “After Dark” edition.

VD: Don’t jump to conclusions, Jaycee. I was going to say we would make some popcorn and watch the Windrusher movie again. But to be serious about your question, I’m feeling good about where I am right now. I retired from a career in broadcasting at a relatively early age and jumped into something I’d always wanted to do, which is writing novels. Thanks to organizations like the Florida Writers Association, I was able to learn how much I didn’t know about writing and publishing. But after several years, I’d published the first in my Windrusher trilogy. And now I’ve published my first mystery, which is part of the Quint Mitchell Mystery series. To put things in perspective, though, much of my time was also devoted to volunteer work. I’ve served on the boards of several organizations since my retirement, including chairing the St. Johns County Tourist Development Council’s event funding committee (which came about from my years as an event producer with WJCT), was president of the Friends of the Ponte Vedra Library and still serve on the board, and am active with FWA as Regional Director for NE Florida where I oversee six chapters, and lead the one in Ponte Vedra Beach. I find this part of my life quite fulfilling.

JC: That’s a lot on your plate. How did you get started with all that?

VD: Even though my career was in broadcasting, writing was my first love—and reading, of course. I was one of those geeky kids who would devour anything with words on them: cereal boxes, road signs, you name it.

JC: You too? I thought I was the only one who read every cereal box and billboard.

VD: Most writers, I would guess, started out as voracious readers. From that love of the written word, somehow we were programmed to tell our own stories. That’s how it began for me. I was on my high school newspaper staff, wrote very bad short stories and poetry in college, and wrote a good deal in my job, including scripts and press releases. I also kept writing on the side as a freelancer, including writing a so-called humor column for a community newspaper for almost ten years. As I said before, it wasn’t until after I retired that I turned to writing long-form fiction. One of the turning points in my young life happened back in the 7th grade, when I entered an essay contest sponsored by the American Legion. While I didn’t win the contest, my essay took second place and, if I recall correctly, the prize was a $25 savings bond. That was cool, but I was also required to read it at a school assembly. I was terrified. Standing behind the lectern, no one could see my knees shaking, but they probably heard the tremor in my voice. But the amazing thing was that after I finished, all the kids and teachers applauded. And that response provided me with positive reinforcement and more than a little ego satisfaction, which helped direct me toward a life and career in the communications business.

JC: How did you get where you are?

VD: I’d like to say that I followed a grand plan developed after years of meditation and research. I’d like to say that, but I can’t. What I can say is whenever I have a difficult decision to make, I turn to a higher power. And my wife usually has the answer since she’s the one with the common sense in our partnership. But I guess I have to take responsibility for where I am at this point, since much of it has come post-retirement. When people ask me if I miss the “glamour” of producing the Jacksonville Jazz Festival (coming up later this month), or of being part of an important community institution like WJCT, as I was for so many years, I have to tell them that life is a series of doors we pass through. We don’t know what lies ahead, but we do know that what we left behind is in the past, behind a closed door, so we should make the most of every new opportunity.

JC: And not dwell on the past.

VD: I jumped into writing with both feet, which was kind of messy, and more than a little destructive for my keyboard. My first attempt at writing a novel turned out to be more successful than I had any right to expect. Windrusher has gone through four or five printings, it’s won several major awards, as have all the Windrusher books, and attracted a wide audience of readers of all ages.

JC: Congratulations!

VD: Actually, I don’t believe I do very well in the two to six year-old demographic.

JC: They’ve got such a short attention span, what with their texting and Gameboys and cruising the malls. Don’t feel bad.

VD: I continued to work at my writing, trying to get better with every page, chapter, and book I wrote. I attended workshops and writers conferences to hone my craft, network with other writers and publishing representatives. Everything I learned contributed toward getting me to this point in my writing career. That and my drive to make my mark so that the obit writers have something to write about other than, “DiGenti placed second in an essay contest in the 7th grade.”

JC: At least it’s short enough to fit on your tombstone. Where are you going next? What’s the next goal, the next step, the next whatever?

VD: I’ve just launched myself into ePublishing, releasing Matanzas Bay on both the Kindle and Nook platforms. My Windrusher books are traditionally published through Ocean Publishing, but I’m now an independent publisher under the imprint Windrusher Hall Press. As such, my role has expanded to include both creator of product and businessman. My most ambitious goal is to break into the Kindle Top 100 sellers with Matanzas Bay. I also hope to complete the second Quint Mitchell Mystery, Bring Down the Furies, by the end of the year, and to publish a collection of short stories as an eBook. All of this is being done under my new persona as author Parker Francis.

JC: You’ve already got a name to bank on. Why another one?

VD: After some thought, I decided to use a pen name to separate my darker, edgier mysteries from the Windrusher books, which have a wide audience of young readers. I’m working on the next book, and finding new ways to promote Matanzas Bay to an audience of mystery readers who are probably asking themselves, “Who the hell is Parker Francis?”

JC: How are you going to make it all happen?

VD: Everyday I try to split myself into three people: Vic the Writer, Vic the marketer, and Vic the house-husband in charge of cooking, vacuuming, and cleaning litter boxes. It doesn’t always work out, but using what I’ve learned from my past life, the marketing end comes easy for me. The problem is that it can overwhelm the writing end if you let it. But I’m determined to keep writing. To keep introducing Parker Francis and Quint Mitchell to new readers, and to keep helping other writers. I figure if I can do it, anyone can. But there’s so much to do and so little time left. As Satchel Paige once said, “Don’t look back, someone might be gaining on you.”

JC: I’ve got one more quick question for you: how do you feel about the growing chaos in the publishing industry?

VD: In many ways, the publishing business is crazy-making, as a co-worker of mine was fond of saying. It’s a strange business model that is now being challenged by the booming ePublishing end of the business. Will traditional publishers go the same way as the record companies and retailers went after Apple introduced the iPod and iTunes? I think we’re about to find out.

JC: Thank you very much for stopping by, Vic, I feel like I learned a lot today. I’m sure glad I got to spend a little time with you and find out all this great stuff about how you stuck with your dream and how well it’s working out for you. Folks, take a peek at Vic DiGenti’s fascinating website, where you’ll learn all about Windrusher and Quint Mitchell. Windrusher has a huge fanbase of his own that any cat lover will want to be a part of. He’s got links there to preview and buy his books, but here are a couple links just in case you gotta have it NOW for your KINDLE or NOOK! (or see below)

VD: Thank you, Jaycee, for this opportunity to visit with you and your readers. You’re providing a real service by helping to motivate and inspire people to follow their dreams.





















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More articles to make your eyes drool:
"Expose Yourself"
To Your Health - Part 5
What we mean when we say we will never forget
What you should know about the military before you join

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Tim Ferriss - Four Hour Body, Four Hour Work Week

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Tim Ferriss, my new hero, has released his second book.

The first one, Four Hour Work Week was filled to the brim with fantastic, practical advice on how to get more out of your time, reduce your workload, and enjoy life. Unfortunately, even though millions of people have read it, only a sparse handful are mentally ready to accept its truths.

His new one, Four Hour Body, makes 4HWW into a jealous older brother. Want to lose 20 pounds in a month while eating all the junk food you want, and no exercise? Tim tells you how. Want to build 20 pounds of muscle in a month? Again, Tim's your man. Become a body builder, even? Tim Ferris has you covered.

You'd think with information like this, everyone would want to carry the book. However, Costco yanked them off the shelves. Why, you ask? Because the book also tells women how to achieve a 15-minute orgasm.

We don't want them doing that, do we? Nay! Women must never realize their capacity for unlimited enjoyment of sex! The horror! God help us if they were to start exposing their ankles!

Whether you want to drop fat, add muscle, learn how to enjoy sex, get better sleep, reverse injuries, or just run faster, if it has to do with improving your body in a simple and easy way, Tim Ferriss tells you what nobody else wants you to know, including straight talk about anabolic steroids and other drugs. (Hint: You can build muscle faster WITHOUT illegal drugs than you can WITH them.)

There's something in this book for everyone who wants to take their health seriously. It's important. And Costco doesn't think you're adult enough to handle it. (Which, unfortunately, is true for about 80% of the population.)

Some of the incredible, easy tips for weightloss which you can try out RIGHT NOW include:

1. Putting an icepack on the back of your neck and upper shoulders for half an hour when you're relaxing during the evening. Couch potato heaven!

2. Taking pictures of what you eat. You don't have to count calories, you don't have to stop eating it, you just have to take a moment to take a picture of it. For greater effectiveness, show the picture to other people.

3. Sprinkle some cinnamon in your coffee before you eat a meal. (No more than a teaspoon a day!)

4. Simply eating slower and drinking plenty of water as you eat. Scarfing down your food sabotages your weight loss attempts, as does inadequate water in your stomach for digestion.

5. Make a "cookie log". You don't have to stop eating them, just mark down on your calendar every time you eat a cookie, or whatever other bad-for-you thing you're trying to eat less of.

One guy lost weight by simply tracking his weight. That's right, every day he weighed himself and wrote it down and charted it. He didn't change anything about his diet, and over two years he lost about 25 pounds.

That's six tips right off the top of my head that ANYONE can do RIGHT NOW.

For dieting fans, Tim also has what he calls a "slow carb" diet. You try it out for a week, and then you get a cheat day when you can eat anything at all you want. You only have to have enough willpower to delay eating your favorite junk foods to that one day a week. Anyone can put junk food aside for a few days, knowing they'll be allowed to eat as much as they want later, right? And better still, it's important to your weight loss that you DO eat as much junk food on that one day as you can!

But that's just for starters.

Tim Ferriss takes a minimalist approach to the hassles of life; he's always looking to do the most with the least effort, and you'll find so much useful information in his books, you'll wonder why they aren't the size of an encyclopedia and why they don't teach this stuff in Kindergarten. Tim experiments constantly, and he has tons of connections to get things done. Tim gives you what no one else does because no one else has investigated as much as he has. No one else questions the "facts" so thoroughly, nor has the resources and determination to find out what the real facts are.

I've spent the last few days digesting the first parts of the book, which are about weight loss and muscle gain. I've been putting ice on the back of my neck each night and trying to get myself in the habit of eating slower. I already drink a lot of water. I haven't started tracking things, and I haven't gone on the diet yet, but I plan on doing so soon. Last year I managed to hold back on regaining the 50 pounds I lost the year before, but so far this year, I've been slowly losing my battle because I haven't been as active while it's so cold.

That's going to change, and real soon. And the Four Hour Body is going to help me.

A little bit of the information in Tim's book, particularly the muscle-gain ideas and some of the sex stuff, I already knew from other reserach and experimentation I'd done last year, so I'm pretty confident that the rest of the book is solid gold. Meanwhile, get your copy now and have the pride of knowing you have a banned book in your hands!

(Note: other than the pittance Amazon gives me when you buy something from them through one of these links, I have no ties to Tim Ferriss.)
















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More articles you'll find interestiong or entertaining:
New Year's Resolution Policy
You know you feel good when...
Nikie St. Giles - 2000

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Bagel Dogs!!!!!!

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O frabjous day! My life is nearing completion thanks in part to my newest sweetheart, Lisa Bang. Embarrassingly cute and unimaginably smart, Lisa came to my rescue when woe had struck me low. For two decades, my life has been missing something incredibly important, something no one should be without. (Unless they're so unimaginative and unadventurous as to put down or just plain not like my second-favorite Hebrew invention; kiss my grits, Natalie!)

Sam's Club used to carry them by the bagful and we'd get two or three bags a month. They were amazing to behold. Simply pop one in the microwave after coming home from a rough day at school, dip 'em in ketchup, and all was suddenly right with the world.

I am of course talking about the wonder that is the bagel dog. Yes, the modest, unassuming bagel dog.

For reasons inexplicable to me, Sam's Club stopped selling bagel dogs around 20 years ago, though for a little while they still continued to sell the not-nearly-so-enjoyable mini bagle dog. (Insert :shudder: emoticon here.) Like the Amiga, original Frosted Mini Wheats, Top Shelf lasagna, Black Pepperjack Doritos, $5 seafood buffets at the casinos, Lemon-Lime Slice, Lacey Chabert, and reasonable prices at Arby's, as soon as I found them and fell in love with them, they disappeared without a trace and were never heard from again.

It's rough, seeing so much splendacularity simply disappear. Were I a completely insecure and paranoid son of an apple pie (like someone whose initials might be GTA), I might think I was the cause of the disappearances. But like what happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T enter a building, perhaps that much awesomeness simply can't be contained. At the time, it was them or me, and MY awesomeness won out.

But now, at least one of these great things is fighting its way out of obscurity to make a comeback. Because my awesomeness is now an inclusive type of aura and it can be added to by other awesome things, I demanded of God to bestow upon me the knowledge of how to get a bagel dog, and lo and behold, God smacked me upside the head and said, "You don't make demands of me."

But then He showed mercy and sent an angel named Lisa Bang to point out to me that Einstein Brothers Bagel Shop sold bagel dogs. And making it better was that there were TWO of them here in the Daytona Beach area. So today, I packed up my gear and hiked on out to Ormond Beach, taking one of my many lady-friends with me on this wondrous odyssey of discovery.

It was glorious; glorious, I tell you!

And now, I owe Lisa a bagel dog, to be paid the next time we meet. Which won't be tomorrow because she's got to do Polycast episode 110 live tomorrow, and I'm going to be at a writer's meeting, and then entertain another of my lady-friends. Dan invited me to do a taping, and yes, I was excited to be able to thank Lisa in person (over Skype), but alas, it will have to wait.

You know, in the above list of my favorite things which can no longer be found, as each one of them disappeared quietly into the night, I mourned its passing, and then moved on. I've actually forgotten several of the items that should have made it on that list. But then one too many of those things began to disappear, and I couldn't take it any more. I had to do something. I had to find a way to save that one last great thing. I had to find a way to make it big again, to get everyone talking about it.

I tried, folks, I really tried, but nothing I did resulted in anything but further misery for all concerned. I simply didn't know how to reach the people responsible for that item on my list and inspire them to continue the valiant struggle to make me and the rest of the world happy with it.

But you know what? If bagel dogs are back from the brink of extinction, maybe with a little enthusiasm and the application of my inconsiderable power and influence with all of creation, I'll be able to arrange things so that they can once again be bought in the grocery store. And when we're all again eating bagel dogs morning, noon, and night, then maybe I'll figure out how to save another item on that list. And then another, and another, until one day, they've all been revived! They will be in everyone's homes or on everyone's minds, bringing peace and love and joy to the world once more!

What about you? What (or who) do you want to see making a comeback? Tell us in the comments below. And again, thank you, Lisa, for telling me where bagel dogs have been hiding half my life!

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More articles you'll find splendacular or stupendous:

The Problem of Emotional Investment

Breaking personal records is fun!

Joan Jett - 1999

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Crime Wave hits Palm Coast

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Back in October, as part of his "Small Town News" segment on The Late Show, David Letterman showed an article from a Palm Coast paper about a crime report. It was the kind of thing that occasionally shows up on Jay Leno's weekly "Headlines" segment. It seems that someone stole a can of pop and a pair of AA batteries, forgoing an expensive GPS system. Dave turned out to be a good guesser, figuring out that the city was close to St. Augustine. (Note to Dave: It's slightly closer to Daytona Beach.)

Today, Palm Coast is putting together a video to send to my fellow Hoosier daddy to show him where the city is and what it's like there. They're doing it at the First Annual Palm Coast Joy Ride, which is going on right now, and which will appear on an episode of the JAG BMX reality TV show.

I suspect that, upon receiving this video, Dave will pay the town a visit, perhaps even tape a show there. So let me be the first to welcome you, David Letterman!

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Other articles you'll find interesting or entertaining:
How to Make More Money
Profiling: Is It Good or Bad?
Leyland French - 1995

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How to Make More Money

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Yesterday evening I spoke to the Port Orange Scribes about self-promotion and blogging. I've also got other speaking engagements and training sessions lined up with groups that aren't writers, and last Sunday I led a discussion for a group I started about modern relationships. It was pretty exciting to do!

Though my speech last night dealt mostly with how to get your writing career jumpstarted through blogging, the precepts apply to any creative endeavor, be it singing, acting, painting, interpretive dancing, and so on. In fact, many of the precepts translate well into ANY kind of business.

As an interesting aside, I made the news! Here is a link to a bunch of Port Orange news stories, and they've got one about me! (It will probably only be there for another few days, so look quick!) When I found it this morning, it was most of the way down the page. Just search for my name and you'll see it (if it's still there.)

This is what I said to the Scribes:

Hi, I'm Jaycee Adams, and I'm a writer. I'm a teacher. I'm a speaker. I'm a promoter. And I'm a blogger. Thank you for this opportunity to speak to you about one of my passions.

You want to make a career out of writing. What are the most important elements to accomplishing this, the elements that are absolutely important?

• Write something good enough that people want it
• Get the word out to as many people as possible

To be good at something, what are some of the important things we must do?

• Study others' writings on how to be better
• Practice your craft constantly
• Learn from others' direct teachings

What are some of the tools at our disposal to be better writers?

• Reading blogs written by agents, publishers, and other writers, of which I have several I follow (check out my profile)
• Readng books like the one you want to write
• Joining writing and critiquing groups who will help you find errors in your book
• Entering writing contests
• Our computers, or a notepad and pencil to write with

All of these require that you WRITE something.

To get famous, what are some of the things we must do?

• Put yourself out there; you can't stay home
• Be newsworthy; do something that gets attention
• Make connections; you can't reach everyone yourself, so you need friends

What are some of the tools at our disposal to get more famous?

• Local news outlets and blogs looking for a story (TV, radio, paper, blog, etc)
• Attending public events, like book signings, but also charities, volunteer work, festivals; get out there and meet people
• Making new friends and networking connections
• Asking your friends and networking connections to talk about you to their friends and networking connections
• Posting links on places you frequent: forums, emails signatures, blogs, facebook pages
• Other forms of traditional advertising
• Get really lucky and have someone discover you

All of these require that the right person notices you, likes you, and gets his 5 million friends to like you too. Luck does not control THAT you get discovered, it only controls WHEN. Even then, the faster you build your fame, the sooner you become famous.

I'm here, of course, to focus on one of the most powerful tools at your disposal and how to use it effectively: sleeping with Angelina Jolie. Whether you like her or not, it is a fact that anyone who sleeps with Angelina Jolie is newsworthy.

But if you can't swing that, start up a blog. Why?

A blog accomplishes a number of things all at once.

• It's WRITING, so it counts as practice.
• It's a centralized location so people looking for you can find you.
• It's a networking hub so you can meet other people and get them to help you.
• It's an advertising tool, and it lets you say anything you want.

If you owned Walmart, you wouldn't dream of forgoing a website that told everyone where you were, what you have, and how they can buy stuff from you, would you? Name any large company, name any reasonably famous person, place, or thing, and there's a website about it for people to find out more about it. ALL businesses that expect to graduate beyond the home office NEED a website. It's the new Yellow Pages and then some.

A blog takes this website idea one step further with up-to-date information about you, AND it shows people what you have to offer, AND it allows them to interact with you and get to know and like you. It can be hard to sell your product, so instead you have to sell yourself. Hollywood has known this for ages, and that's why they spend so much effort on making actors seem likeable.

Angelina Jolie is so likeable that people go to see movies just because she's in them. Even if it's a bit part, they'll still go to see her because they like her. If she endorses something, people buy it because they like her. Luckily, Angelina is also talented. People know she's going to deliver. They trust her to play roles they like and to be in movies that are worth watching. If you want to tap into that power, you have to be a good writer and you have to get out there and be known. You have to sell yourself. YOU are your real product, whether you're a writer, singer, seamstress, architect, or bonsai sculptor.

You're a writer, and blogs need written material constantly. What better way to give out free samples of your work to show people what you've got, get them interested in you, and like you?

Being able to reach people has always been key to getting a message out. Whether you're standing on a stump, on the TV news, or blogging, it doesn't matter. The tools have gotten more powerful and cheaper, and right now, the tool with the most bang for the buck is a blog.

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't really "get" blogging, or they don't know how to make the most of it. Some don't "get" the internet at all. Some don't even "get" self-promotion. I'm here to help you out with that a little.

I've covered why you should HAVE a blog. Before I discuss how to use it, I'm going to tell you how to GET one.

There are a bunch of blogging tools out there. Wordpress, Yahoo*, MSN*, even Facebook and Twitter are using blogging techniques. The blogging tool I use is called Blogger.com, and it's run by Google. The reasons I prefer it are:

• It's very easy to use
• It's capable of doing almost anything you can imagine
• Virtually all the professional blogs from which I learned about publishing and writing use it
• For the money, you get a lot of picture and video storage space; you're not likely to run out, unless you're posting large porn videos, and then you can start another one.

How much does it cost?

It costs one gmail account.

All you have to have is a gmail account - no money - and then you can start creating your own blog, networking with others' blogs, and getting the word out about how fantastic you are!

Here are a few of the tools available to you with Blogger.com. 

• Your main page is continuous - it has several stories available and you control how many show up at a time
• Your secondary pages are just static information pages. We all need at least one of these to tell people the stuff that doesn't change often.
• You can insert a BREAK so you don't have HUGE articles gobbling up your main page
• Easy to put pictures in and move them and get thumbnails
• Easy to add hyperlinks
• Easy to handle reader comments
• Easy to adjust settings, letting you decide how much or how little you want on your site
• Easy to design the look and feel
• Widgets - there's tons of them
• Ads - you control how many, or if there even are any. You can get income when people click on them
• Sharing links is very easy
• Adding a real domain name is very easy
• You can set it up to post in the future, so tht one day you feel like writing 10 articles can be spread out to cover the next 9 days when you want to take a break
• Free statistics to tell you which articles are getting the hits and where your readers are coming from!
• Tied in to Picassa, which is an online picture repository

What should your blog be about? What should you write about?

Write about whatever you want! You can see that on my site, I have a LOT of topics. I find that anything to do with celebrity gossip, horoscopes, and popular topics draws attention, so you can talk about that, but you should focus on what it is that your books are going to be about. Being an everything blog is too diluting for your audience - it makes it hard to grab and keep an audience - but if you focus on a niche and serve it well, you will become very popular in that niche. It's not limiting yourself, it's becoming an authority on a topic, and it's simply the best way to go about it.

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 I then gave a short demo on how to get signed up and started up, and then challenged them to create an article, post it on my site, and get their friends to read and comment it so they could see for themselves how easy it is to do.

Statistically speaking, there's a 60% chance that ONE of the people I talked to will actually follow through and take up my challenge. It's sad, but most people are not actually serious enough about themselves or their writing to put even the most cursory amount of work into it. They come to a writer's group and think that's progress. Sure, it's a step in the right direction, but it doesn't mean you've made it to Tahiti. To accomplish something, you've got to DO something. If you can't even motivate yourself to handle your own best interests, how do you expect to motivate others to help you?

We'll find out how many people are serious about getting published in the coming days. Even if no one participates, it's not going to stop my public speaking and teaching. I've already got several speaking/teaching engagements coming up, if you know where to look.

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Other articles you'll find interesting or useful:
Dear Mel Gibson
Expose Yourself #2 - Straight to the T.O.P.
Shh-it's a Secret!

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Dear Mel Gibson

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Dear Mel Gibson,

I know recently you've had some troubles, and people like Jay Leno making fun of you just makes it worse, but I'm here to tell you that it's not as bad as it seems.

Yesterday I saw something that, if true, looks like you were having a nervous breakdown, caused by something that none of us would ever have thought someone like you could suffer from. We here in the real world see people like you having a bad day and some of us think you deserve it, while others can't comprehend the pressures you're under, and still others wonder what could possibly be so bad that you'd feel unable to face another day.

I am not (yet) a household name like you are, so I won't claim I know exactly what you're gong through, but I am here to tell you that, if I'm right, you have a very common affliction, and it is curable. It's very easy to cure, in fact.

Judging by what I read, if it was really something written by you, you suffer from a lack of self-esteem. You don't see yourself the way the rest of us see you. You don't think you do anything all that special. You don't think you deserve so much praise from so many people. I know what that's like, Mel. I know what it's like to have an incredible gift, and think it's nothing special, and put myself down. I know what it's like to be afraid to let it show just how special I am for fear of offending someone without that gift.

Does Mel Gibson have any heroes? Any sports figures he thinks are talented? Any fellow actors he admires? Any one at all who does something he doesn't think he can do, and so appreciates it when someone displays that talent? Perhaps you admire my writing talent. Perhaps you think I'm the best writer you've ever had the pleasure of reading. Perhaps I make you happy, and if given the chance, you'd thank me for being here, for inspiring you, for brightening your day. Would it pain you to know I don't share your opinion of me? Would you be surprised to learn I think my writing sucks?

The truth is, of course, that my writing is pretty good. I get compliments on it all the time, a dozen times a week, sometimes publicly on my site, sometimes in front of hot babes, and sometimes privately. People like what I write and the way I write it. Not everyone, of course, but those opinions don't count.

And people like to watch you on the silver screen. People like the movies you make, whether you're in front of the camera or behind it. Believe it or not, Mel, people admire you for your accomplishments, and people like you for who you are as a person. I don't know you as a person, but my sister says you're responsible for saving several lives, and I know from reading about you recently that you've made an important difference in the world.

Mel, idiotic jokes like Jay Leno's will eventually find someone else to fall on. Don't worry about him, his opinion doesn't count. Let yourself see you the way the rest of us see you. We look up to you, whether you like it or not, and we do it because you've done something worthy of that respect.

A lot of people go through their lives and do nothing of substance. A lot of people have incredible gifts and do nothing with them. You are someone who matters, Mel Gibson. You are someone who uses his gifts to help others. Please believe us when we tell you this. It changes your life when you start accepting compliments and ignoring insults and realizing that you really are someone special. I know from personal experience and I can also refer you to other people I've helped to realize this simple truth.

The power to be in love with life is within you. You need no special permission from anyone, be it the lowliest comedian to the highest deity, YOU and YOU ALONE have the power to be happy with who you are. Drugs won't do anything for you. Self-pity won't either. Getting angry won't. You have to decide to be who you are.

Thank you for making a difference to our world, Mel Gibson. Please continue to do so.

Sincerely,
- Jaycee Adams

Nicholas Marks - 2010

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Back in 1999, while I was in the Navy, my boat, the Bataan, was doing its Med Cruise and one of the places we pulled in to was Tarragona, Spain. While there, a couple busloads of us had the chance to ride up to Madrid to the Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament.(Apparently it's closed, because I can't find a link to it.)

It was a great experience, much better than the one that's here in Orlando (which itself is pretty good), not just because of the cosmopolitan audience which came from all over Europe, but because after the main show, we were then moved to a ball room where we were treated to an outstanding display of Spanish culture, including music and Flamenco dancing. I really liked the music then, but I never really thought about it that much until 11 years later. This past Saturday, while at the Downtown Disney Halloween party, my friend and I came across a guy who really made his guitar sing and dance.

His name was Nicholas Marks, and he had me and my friend entranced with his show. The music felt a lot like the music I had so enjoyed back in Spain, except it was even faster and had influences from other cultures. My partner identified Italian elements in a couple of his songs.

Nicholas Marks didn't sing, but he didn't need to. His lightning-fast fingers, guitar trick showmanship, and darn-good music were all the entertainment I needed.

After his show, I bought one of his CDs to autograph and thanked him for the great show and for sparking the great memories of my visit to Spain. I've since been listening to the CD and checked out the Nicholas Marks website to see what else he's got on offer. It's pretty cool; he's met a lot of interesting people and has been performing for some time now. He's also got a couple other CDs, and I just wanted to let you guys know that if you've got a hankering for Spanish music with an Gypsy twist, Nicholas Marks has your medicine, in a delicious dosage.

I didn't get to take a whole lot of pictures while I was down in Orlando for the party, because we didn't get there until just before sundown, and by then there wasn't enough light to take pictures of much. It just so happens that a flash actually worsens pictures of open areas when it's dark out, as I discovered. I took a few pictures, but only a handful even came out enough for enhancement to do anything.

The place was so packed that the big restaurants had wait times exceeding an hour, so we saw a lot of people and a lot of really good costumes. Several different ninjas, a crayon, Raggety Ann and Andy, several fairies, Peter Pan, Mario and Luigi, some princesses, skeletons, ghosts, and a couple of stilt-walking jack-o-lanterns, and lots more. We found a smaller place to eat called Earl of Sandwich, where the wait to eat was a lot shorter, and I had what may have been the best turkey sandwich I've ever had. So T-Rex and Rainforest Cafe missed out on my business, but if they hadn't, I would've missed out on Nicholas Marks' performance, so I guess it evened out.

All in all, it was a great party, and one I'll probably do again next year, but I'll have to tone down my costume because people kept giving me prizes for coolest dude, and for hottest babe on my arm. Hope to see you there!

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Other articles you'll find interesting or helpful:

My Travels - Florida

Leyland French - 1995

You Might not Know the Value of a Dollar

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