Two of my Weight Loss Secrets

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Depending on what my "frame size" is - that is, whether I'm big-boned, small-boned, or in the middle - the supposed ideal weight for a man of my height is 155, 165, or 175 pounds. When I was at my peak weight of 260 pounds - not really all that fat compared to a lot of people, especially most truckers - I said to myself that I needed to lose 100 pounds, mostly because it was a nice round number which was close enough to the truth. I dropped 56 pounds the first year without any serious effort, but then the weight held steady, and what's worse, I decided to stop driving, mostly because I was tired of getting ripped off by my company, but also because I wanted to put the finishing touches on my novel and then get it sold. I'd need a lot of time to study up on how to do all that, and driving (especially without getting paid for it) was wasting that time.

So consequently, I started regaining some of the weight I'd lost. I knew what the problem was: I was starting to over eat and my activity level had gone down. Finally, I managed to get it under control by making some minor changes to my diet and my behavior and the weight started falling off again. Then we took a trip out west and I stopped the diet, thinking we'd be extra active to make up for it.

Tip: Don't take trips with people who can't walk more than 2 miles in a day and who want to start the day at 9:00 and give up on the day at 4:00. You won't see much and you won't lose much weight from activity. I expected the guy twice my age and weight to cause a problem, but not the guy half my age and weight.

But anyway, I regained about 15 pounds in just those 3 weeks, so I had to drop them again.


The morning of Christmas Eve was a Saturday, and was the day I allow myself to eat anything. And I do. I really need to employ a little more self-restraint, especially since I'm so good at it the rest of the week, but so far I haven't been able to do it very much. But anyway, Saturday mornings, before I pig out, are the time of the week I weigh the least. I've had all week to eat right and get in my exercise and such, and hopefully take care of my bathroom business before the weigh-in and before the eating contest.

My weight was down to 190, which means I was down a total of 70 pounds from my peak at 260. Sure, I'd lost about half of those pounds several times, but at least it was easy to do once I got back into my routine. A few weeks ago I bought some new pants at size 34, a size I haven't worn since high school - about 20 years. Everyone who hasn't seen me in a while says I'm skinny and don't need to lose more weight. I look at myself in the mirror and I look a lot better, but I still need to knock several more pounds off. I still haven't fully committed to a real body-building workout yet, but at least my walking levels have held steady or increased.At least I know that if I can find a way to make a habit of working out the way I've made a habit of eating right and walking, then I'll be able to do it just as easily.

Ok, so you're caught up on that particular soap opera of my life, and it's high time I tell you about those secrets I promised.

On Saturday, I typically eat a lot of chocolate and cookies and other stuff. I can put on anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds over the course of the day, but it's almost all water because I'm drinking a lot of extra water to keep myself hydrated. During the week I drink about half a gallon a day, maybe a little more, but on Saturday I typically drink about a full gallon. A gallon of water is 8 pounds. During the week, I - pardon any crudity - pee a lot. I seem to get rid of as much water as I bring in. But on Saturday, although I'm drinking more water, I'm in the bathroom less, and when I am in there, my pee isn't as mildly yellow as it is during the week. Mild yellow means it's mostly water, which means I'm drinking the right amount of water. Faint yellow or nearly clear means too much water, and deeper yellow means not enough water. If it's REALLY yellow, you REALLY need to drink some water!

I also noticed, while I was scarfing down some of those Reese's Christmas trees that I was not just drinking a lot of extra water as I lost nearly all self-control, but I was actually feeling VERY thirsty as I did so. It was then I realized, this was NOT the first time that had happened. I'm almost always thirsty on Saturday, particularly after eating a lot of sugar.

Well, the ingredients list has a lot of sugar, of course, but there's also a lot of sodium, which is essentially salt. Salt in your body retains water, which means the rest of your body isn't getting enough water, even if you drink a lot of it. It also means you're gaining weight. Every glass of water is a pound, and if you're not peeing it out, you're getting heavy and bloated. For a guy my size, it's not noticeable, but if you're a hot chick, or even a mostly in shape gal, you don't want to be holding on to all that water because it will make your slinky dresses a lot tighter and your face pudgier. And if you're in the military or you work at Hooters and have to do regular weigh-ins, all that water you're retaining will count against you.

The simple solution is to LAY OFF THE SODIUM! And the sugar, too, as I'm convinced it's a large part of the problem.

I've also noticed that on Sunday I don't lose the weight; it's not until my long walk Monday that I start to lose it, and that's because I'm sweating it out. Salt apparently doesn't leave your body through your bladder, it leaves through your sweat glands, so if you never work up a good sweat, you'll be holding on to that water for a few days.

So Secret #1 is: sugar and salt make you gain weight by making you retain water. And if you think you can be clever and drink something else, like pop or Gatorade, it's WATER your body needs, and those things don't contain enough of it, so you have to drink MORE, which means you're also adding a LOT of CALORIES. Water has no calories. Water helps you burn calories, if you have enough of it in you. Therefore avoid sugar and salt.

And Secret #2 is: once you eat salt, you can't get rid of it except by sweating it out, and this takes a bit of time and a lot of people don't enjoy the process of sweating unless the opposite sex is involved. But sweating IS a good way to get rid of the other salt your other food contains and which you can't avoid. Walking for a couple hours twice a week should do it, and I don't mean casually strolling. Sweat! Obviously you'll sweat more in warm weather than cold, but you don't want to sweat too much in the cold and then get sick, so practice and find what's best for you.

I guess I'm lucky in that my weekly diet is very low salt and low calorie. Even though I'm walking only 15-20 miles a week every other day, I'm still losing a pound or two every week... well, 6-12 pounds a week, but measured on Saturday mornings it's a pound or two. If you're not doing that, you'll have to be a lot more careful about the junk you're eating. Don't be especially surprised if dropping the pounds from that cake is hard; you're probably not drinking enough water and active enough to sweat it out, and you're probably eating a lot of other crap that's clogging things up too.

But hey, that's what you wanted to do. I've given you solid advice in the past, including the book which helped me finally get myself mostly under control, and I've also shown you that it works, so don't blame me. It's not too late. You can still do what I'm doing. Heck, you'll probably be better at it than me!

But you have to try it first.

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Merry Christmas!

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Depending on what my "frame size" is - that is, whether I'm big-boned, small-boned, or in the middle - the supposed ideal weight for a man of my height is 155, 165, or 175 pounds. When I was at my peak weight of 260 pounds - not really all that fat compared to a lot of people, especially most truckers - I said to myself that I needed to lose 100 pounds, mostly because it was a nice round number which was close enough to the truth. I dropped 56 pounds the first year without any serious effort, but then the weight held steady, and what's worse, I decided to stop driving, mostly because I was tired of getting ripped off by my company, but also because I wanted to put the finishing touches on my novel and then get it sold. I'd need a lot of time to study up on how to do all that, and driving (especially without getting paid for it) was wasting that time.

So consequently, I started regaining some of the weight I'd lost. I knew what the problem was: I was starting to over eat and my activity level had gone down. Finally, I managed to get it under control by making some minor changes to my diet and my behavior and the weight started falling off again. Then we took a trip out west and I stopped the diet, thinking we'd be extra active to make up for it.

Tip: Don't take trips with people who can't walk more than 2 miles in a day and who want to start the day at 9:00 and give up on the day at 4:00. You won't see much and you won't lose much weight from activity. I expected the guy twice my age and weight to cause a problem, but not the guy half my age and weight.

But anyway, I regained about 15 pounds in just those 3 weeks, so I had to drop them again.


The morning of Christmas Eve was a Saturday, and was the day I allow myself to eat anything. And I do. I really need to employ a little more self-restraint, especially since I'm so good at it the rest of the week, but so far I haven't been able to do it very much. But anyway, Saturday mornings, before I pig out, are the time of the week I weigh the least. I've had all week to eat right and get in my exercise and such, and hopefully take care of my bathroom business before the weigh-in and before the eating contest.

My weight was down to 190, which means I was down a total of 70 pounds from my peak at 260. Sure, I'd lost about half of those pounds several times, but at least it was easy to do once I got back into my routine. A few weeks ago I bought some new pants at size 34, a size I haven't worn since high school - about 20 years. Everyone who hasn't seen me in a while says I'm skinny and don't need to lose more weight. I look at myself in the mirror and I look a lot better, but I still need to knock several more pounds off. I still haven't fully committed to a real body-building workout yet, but at least my walking levels have held steady or increased.At least I know that if I can find a way to make a habit of working out the way I've made a habit of eating right and walking, then I'll be able to do it just as easily.

Ok, so you're caught up on that particular soap opera of my life, and it's high time I tell you about those secrets I promised.

On Saturday, I typically eat a lot of chocolate and cookies and other stuff. I can put on anywhere from 5 to 10 pounds over the course of the day, but it's almost all water because I'm drinking a lot of extra water to keep myself hydrated. During the week I drink about half a gallon a day, maybe a little more, but on Saturday I typically drink about a full gallon. A gallon of water is 8 pounds. During the week, I - pardon any crudity - pee a lot. I seem to get rid of as much water as I bring in. But on Saturday, although I'm drinking more water, I'm in the bathroom less, and when I am in there, my pee isn't as mildly yellow as it is during the week. Mild yellow means it's mostly water, which means I'm drinking the right amount of water. Faint yellow or nearly clear means too much water, and deeper yellow means not enough water. If it's REALLY yellow, you REALLY need to drink some water!

I also noticed, while I was scarfing down some of those Reese's Christmas trees that I was not just drinking a lot of extra water as I lost nearly all self-control, but I was actually feeling VERY thirsty as I did so. It was then I realized, this was NOT the first time that had happened. I'm almost always thirsty on Saturday, particularly after eating a lot of sugar.

Well, the ingredients list has a lot of sugar, of course, but there's also a lot of sodium, which is essentially salt. Salt in your body retains water, which means the rest of your body isn't getting enough water, even if you drink a lot of it. It also means you're gaining weight. Every glass of water is a pound, and if you're not peeing it out, you're getting heavy and bloated. For a guy my size, it's not noticeable, but if you're a hot chick, or even a mostly in shape gal, you don't want to be holding on to all that water because it will make your slinky dresses a lot tighter and your face pudgier. And if you're in the military or you work at Hooters and have to do regular weigh-ins, all that water you're retaining will count against you.

The simple solution is to LAY OFF THE SODIUM! And the sugar, too, as I'm convinced it's a large part of the problem.

I've also noticed that on Sunday I don't lose the weight; it's not until my long walk Monday that I start to lose it, and that's because I'm sweating it out. Salt apparently doesn't leave your body through your bladder, it leaves through your sweat glands, so if you never work up a good sweat, you'll be holding on to that water for a few days.

So Secret #1 is: sugar and salt make you gain weight by making you retain water. And if you think you can be clever and drink something else, like pop or Gatorade, it's WATER your body needs, and those things don't contain enough of it, so you have to drink MORE, which means you're also adding a LOT of CALORIES. Water has no calories. Water helps you burn calories, if you have enough of it in you. Therefore avoid sugar and salt.

And Secret #2 is: once you eat salt, you can't get rid of it except by sweating it out, and this takes a bit of time and a lot of people don't enjoy the process of sweating unless the opposite sex is involved. But sweating IS a good way to get rid of the other salt your other food contains and which you can't avoid. Walking for a couple hours twice a week should do it, and I don't mean casually strolling. Sweat! Obviously you'll sweat more in warm weather than cold, but you don't want to sweat too much in the cold and then get sick, so practice and find what's best for you.

I guess I'm lucky in that my weekly diet is very low salt and low calorie. Even though I'm walking only 15-20 miles a week every other day, I'm still losing a pound or two every week... well, 6-12 pounds a week, but measured on Saturday mornings it's a pound or two. If you're not doing that, you'll have to be a lot more careful about the junk you're eating. Don't be especially surprised if dropping the pounds from that cake is hard; you're probably not drinking enough water and active enough to sweat it out, and you're probably eating a lot of other crap that's clogging things up too.

But hey, that's what you wanted to do. I've given you solid advice in the past, including the book which helped me finally get myself mostly under control, and I've also shown you that it works, so don't blame me. It's not too late. You can still do what I'm doing. Heck, you'll probably be better at it than me!

But you have to try it first.

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We're Better than Bacon

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You guys remember the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon thing that was going around a few years ago? As the theory goes, we're all separated from each other by no more than six people. That's kind of like saying that one of my friends and one of your friends has a third friend in common who can complete the link between us and introduce us to each other, no matter who you and I are.

This was based on some research done nearly a century ago by asking people to hand-deliver parcels.

The BBC recently publicized a report that Facebook had analyzed their users' friendships and found that there were LESS than six degrees separating us all. There are a little less than FOUR. That's a lot like saying you and I probably have a friend in common, or at least we each have a friend who knows one of the other's friends.

How did they figure this all out?

If you read the article I linked above, they'll tell you what they did, but I think they made a serious error.

They factored out the celebrity pages, which was smart, but did they factor out all the "FB-friends" people have?

There are a LOT of people who have a LOT of "friends" they don't actually know because nearly all FB games encourage their players to get additional friends to play. Most FB-gamers don't have many ACTUAL friends, and the ones they do have don't want to play the same games, or are tired of being assaulted by game requests. (I know I am.) So they go looking for strangers who are already playing the game and "friend" them. Both people will now be rewarded within the game they play.

On top of that, some people with a lot of ACTUAL friends don't want all those game-related posts and stuff cluttering up their profiles and pissing off their actual friends, so they create a second, game-only account with which they friend anyone and everyone. Many of these accounts bump into the 5000 friend limit.

5000 friends? There may be a handful of people who actually know that many people personally, but most of us can only handle about 50-300 actual friends. There's a hard-wired limit in most humans of about 150 friendships. You may know more people than that, but you're physically unable to maintain a meaningful relationship with them. Think about the people in your life; with how many do you maintain regular, meaningful contact? And how many are merely "acquaintances", or some lower level of familiarity? (Hint: if you don't know where they live and you don't have a standing invitation to come to their house any time you want, and you don't see them more often than once a week, they're not a friend, they're at best an acquaintance.)

If you're at the normal human max of 150 friends, probably no more than 1/4 to 1/3 of them use Facebook, meaning you've got 35-50 legitimate friends on Facebook. You've probably got double or triple that in acquaintances from work or your childhood you hardly spend any time with. These numbers jibe well with my experience, so we'll assume they're somewhat reasonable.

The BBC article states that in the test, the average number of friends each user had was 100. Above, though, we used the human max of 150. The average would be about half that, or 75, which means our other numbers are also cut in half. That means by OUR figuring, a person has 20-25 actual friends and 25-50 acquaintances, for a total average of about 60 people. This is about half what FB says is the average, so either there is rampant FB-friending for games going on (definitely true) or our numbers are off (easily possible), or, most likely, some combination of the two.

But let's say our numbers ARE right. What happens when OUR numbers are LESS THAN Facebook's numbers? The number of degrees goes UP. Fewer people means fewer links, means it takes more steps for one person to reach another.

The article also kindly stated some numbers from three years ago when there were fewer Facebook users. There were still plenty of Facebook games, which means there were still plenty of fake friends and fake accounts for playing those games, but not as many. I've only been on Facebook for a short time, but to my knowledge, the FB gaming boom happened just before I got there.

What that means is their old number is likely to be MUCH closer to the truth than their new number. That is, 4.28 is much more likely to be the actual number than 3.74 is, and I'd feel comfortable wagering that the actual number is higher still. Maybe 4.5. Maybe even as high as 5. That wouldn't surprise me.

What do you think? Share your opinion now.

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Dead in a Year

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What would you do if you knew you had only one year left to live? Would you muster up the guts to tell the girl (or guy) of your dreams how you felt? Would you tell your boss to shove it? Would you tell your false friends to find someone else to leech off of? Would you travel the world, do things you always wanted to do, but couldn't because you were afraid to or couldn't afford to?

Well now's your chance to find out what you'd do because in one year it will be December 21st, 2012, the day the world ends. Watch out, because there will probably be a lot of other people with less moral restraint than you or I doing all kinds of crazy things. Just in case one of them keeps you from seeing the end of the world, allow me to share with you how it might end.


As far as I know, I was the first to start talking about the "zombie apocalypse" which will strike when the Mayan calendar ends in one year, but the term has become pretty popular lately. You probably thought it was a joke, or that there's no such thing as zombies, but it was NOT a joke and there ARE zombies, and these zombies ARE going to destroy the world in a year's time.

At least, they're going to try.

How could this possibly happen? Well first we need to know a tiny bit of history and the factors which created the current zombie breeding environment.

1. In recent years, the people of America have become incredibly complacent. The end of the Cold War gave us a feeling of invulnerability; we were the sole remaining superpower and the greatest force in Human history, so who would dare piss us off? Add to that the wild success of the first Iraq war, and we started to believe we were infallible. You can see the effects of this in the second Iraq war when the whole world labeled us a rogue nation and we still went into Iraq. We just didn't care what the world said, because we KNEW Iraq was giving WMDs to terrorists.

2. TV programming has gotten steadily dumber. More and more, we celebrate those who are stupid and superficial and of horrid moral character and those who have NO character. Since when does a Kardashian matter? Never. Since when do a bunch of fakes on Jersey Shore matter? Never. Whose life is so lame that Brad Pitt's wishy-washiness matters? No one's. But these are the things being put on our TVs, and even our so-called learning channels are infested with dreck "reality" shows.

3. Mainstream news sources have denounced all journalistic ethics. The result is that when they're not fabricating the news, they're "reporting" on things which don't matter and ignoring things which do matter. A lot of hot air is blown about the "liberal media" and the "conservative media", but that's not what's really going on. The only time a rich person gets in trouble on the news is when another rich person wants them to be in trouble, and the only time a worthy cause gets coverage is when a rich person will profit from it. The OWS "coverage" is merely the latest and greatest example of misreporting and non-reporting. The only way to get actual news is through the internet.

4. The internet is being shackled and soon we will not have access to the only remaining source of truth and unedited information. That's not to say the internet isn't still a wild land full of disinformation, but at least it's POSSIBLE to get ACTUAL news from the internet if you're willing to look for it. You CAN'T do it on the TV, nor in the newspaper, because those are ALL owned by 3 men who have the same agenda: enslaving you. Once they've regained control of the internet, they will again have 100% control over the information you have access to. Good luck making informed decisions!

5. One political party is unabashedly abusing God's word to push its agenda. They make all the noises that a Christian does, and do all the things a Christian does... at least in public. Privately, they commit every crime imaginable, from adultery to drunken driving to stealing from the poor to advocating violence against Americans to bald-faced lying when they get caught red handed. And because they profess so strongly to be believers in Christ, too many believe their lies and they get away with murder. (Literally, in many cases.)

6. Education has become criminal. It used to be illegal to educate a woman. It used to be illegal to educate a negro. We can already see the beginnings of making it illegal to educate the poor. High-quality public education is what made this country great and helped it stay great for so long, but that's going away. First there was a backlash against certain subjects, like Evolution, and trying to replace it with nonscience nonsense. Then there was a complete lack of quality public education, and our children are becoming dumber by the minute. Now there's a movement to eliminate public education altogether and completely privatize the education industry, which will completely deny education to the poor and middle class. Education is the cornerstone of freedom. Without it, you are either a slave or a dead slave.

7. Surge of non-issues and cultivating of irrational hatreds. We spend so much time and energy on insignificant "issues" that we can't see the real problems which are CAUSING all those problems. Is it REALLY the end of the world if we give equal pay for equal work? Is it REALLY the end of the world if we collectively pay for a highway and then some of us use it more than others? Is it REALLY the end of the world if we keep government OUT of the bedroom? Is it REALLY the end of the world if someone uses the word "tar-baby" as a synonym for "quagmire"? Do we REALLY have to threaten violence to all who disagree with us? And because we make no headway in any of these issues, when faced with REAL issues, like the pandemic levels of corruption and treason our elected officials and corporate leaders display, we feel completely powerless to do anything about it, and so we let them continue to get away with it. We barely even notice the rape any more.

8. False Christians confuse and incite Christians to commit acts of violence and hate against each other. We complain a lot about how corrupt and violent Islam and Judeaism are, but they don't hold a candle to what an entire political party has done to foster its unholy agenda. It boggles my mind the evil being committed against our fellow Americans under the guise of Christianity when the Bible very clearly states we should love one another. The New Testament - Jesus' teachings - are the most important part of the Bible. Jesus taught forgiveness and peace and doing what is right. He did NOT teach that we should be slaves, or lie, or shoot Congresswomen for the convenience of whores from Alaska. Really, folks, if you believed in the Bible, I'm pretty sure you'd be noticing that the Anti-Christ is here.

9. There is very little will to protest unfairness. America was FOUNDED upon protesting unfairness. It's in our blood to fight against oppression. And yet, we've been subjugated from within. No one wants to rock the boat. No one wants to risk the ire of the Republican party because they'll take away your job and your home and your health care and your social security. Guess what? They're doing that anyway. You literally have NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE. And yet you still let them rape you.

10. There are entirely too many secret laws and laws which invalidate the Constitution's protection of civil rights. And if you think a lawyer can still protect you, think again. "Justice" is available only to the rich now.

Combine together these factors and many more I didn't have space to mention and you have a breeding ground for mindless zombies who can't think for themselves and who will simply do what their masters tell them to do through the TV news and "reality" shows.

You don't believe me? Then you've been turned into a zombie.

With the unprecedented levels of greed exhibited by the 1%, not only are the poor being robbed, but that's not enough and they're robbing the middle class too. Regular, hard-working Americans, who were doing everything they were told that a good American should do to be successful, are having their livelihoods stolen from them. They worked harder and got less at the end of the day. When you've had your house repossessed and you're living on the street, you don't have the TV or the lamestream media clouding your judgment. You snap out of the zombification process and you start protesting what was done to you.

As the numbers of de-zombified people grows, so too do the protests around the country and around the world. Those in power are getting more and more nervous that the free ride is over and all their illusions will come crashing down. But they're not going to give up without a fight. Evil NEVER lays down and quits.

Instead of realizing they've overstepped their bounds and apologizing like a proper, honorable person would do, they're telling their hoards of zombies to attack the people who have escaped their programming. You see it on the "news" all the time. The talking heads first ignored the OWS movement, then when that didn't work they told obvious lies about it, and when that didn't work they've ordered the police to start physically assaulting them without provocation or justification.

As the election cycle begins, it promises to shatter all previous records of corruption - BILLIONS of dollars have already been spent to buy the elections this year, and BILLIONS MORE will be spent next year. Why exactly are we allowing our "free" elections to be bought? Remember that, it's important.

Over the course of next year, tensions between the still-powerful zombies and the growing de-zombified will increase, and the only thing which will hold them back will be the completely irrational belief that come election time in November, something useful will happen and the treasonous ones will be voted out and honest people will be voted in. In the next six weeks, as America realizes not only that they have AGAIN had their elections stolen and AGAIN put more traitors in office, and that these new people will REFUSE to correct the real problems facing this country because they are afraid to go against the people who bought their office for them, the dam will burst and the oppressed people will do what oppressed people have always done when they have nothing left to lose.

The puppet masters won't stand for that, and will cause blood to flow.

It might even reach John Titor proportions, which is to say a civil war will break out and we will ask Russia to nuke some of our cities to end the war. It'll be like Wierd Al Yankovick's song, Christmas at Ground Zero, except it won't be funny, it won't be accidental, and it won't happen on Christmas, it will happen four days before: December 21st.

And all this because the super-rich thought they needed 100% of the money instead of only their fair share.

It doesn't have to be that way, of course. There are many ways to stop it, though counting on the greedy to do what's ultimately in their best interests - treat people with respect - doesn't seem to be one of them. And relying on Congress to stop sucking at the teats of the rich for five seconds to represent their ACTUAL constituents doesn't seem to be in the cards either. The best option other than a Tea Party-esque armed assault on Washington DC to head off a far worse apocalypse would be to create a Constitutional Convention in each of the 50 states (not 57, Mr. Prez) in which we create an Amendment stating some rather important things that must be changed.

1. Corporations are tools, no different than hammers and cars, and as such their owners and the people entrusted to running them are responsible for their crimes. Like cars and hammers, corporations are not people and are not allowed to be used to influence politics in any way.

2. Money is not speech. No individual may donate more than $100 to a political campaign. No organization may donate value to one campaign without also donating equal value to all campaigns. (Frex, a TV station cannot pick and choose whose ads it runs, it must run everyone's or no one's.)

3. Any candidate who can gather signatures from at least 1% of the voters in a voting district is hereby an official candidate. In multiple-district elections (such as for President), a candidate who gets his 1% in at least 50% of the districts (states) is automatically to be added to all others upon his request of that district (state). All official candidates are to be allotted equal time/money/value in televised debates and campaigning. This is to be part of the charter of a TV station or network.

4. At no time will a candidate be allowed to receive a contribution anonymously. All contributions must be documented. The entire process must be above board and transparent to public scrutiny. No contributions can come from foreign sources.

5. If Congress plays chicken with the budget or the economy, all members who had any part in it will immediately be tried for treason.

6. All special benefits Congress voted for themselves, such as their retirement fund, their health care, and their exemption from the law, are null and void. All Congress members past and present who voted for such things without the express consent of a majority of their constituents shall be tried for treason.

7. Congress shall be forbidden from owning stock in any company or corporation because they are in a position to conduct insider trading and don't seem to have the self-restraint required not to do it. Any Congress member who has profited from the laws they have made any more than the average American is to be tried for treason.

8. No elected official shall be exempt from laws pertaining to drunken driving, drug use, murder, or any other serious crime. Any official trying to coerce law enforcement from arresting or prosecuting them shall be tried for treason. (This seems to be a big problem with governors too.)

9. The President shall have a line-item veto power so that the absurd riders which get tacked on to most bills shall be kept from becoming law.

10. Judges shall not be appointed for life. Lifespans are much too long. No judicial appointment shall last longer than 20 years and no judge shall serve longer than 20 years.

11. Elected officials shall be subject to recall if more than 75% of their voters want it. (Passons do flare from time to time, and recalls shouldn't be subject to whims.)

12. Above all, elected officials are expected to act in a responsible manner toward the country and their office. Those who put anything besides their country first - including political party, corporation, or themselves - shall be tried for treason. We expect our military to be willing to die in service, the least an elected official can do is make a comparable sacrifice. Additionally, all large corporations are required to have as part of their charter the same basic requirements for responsibility toward the country which made you. We don't mind you being rich and influential, we mind you abusing that power. With great power comes great responsibility, and great punishments for not living up to it.


These are the kinds of changes America needs to avoid the coming zombie apocalypse. Will we have the guts to implement them before disaster strikes, or will be have to destroy everything we have first? One thing is for sure: if we don't overcome the slavery the super-rich are trying to impose on us now, we will never have the chance again.

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